the day after christmas..

cuz I mean TECHNICALLY it is, but Merry Christmas to all my loves <33

now, this post isnt gonna be very meaningful or nada, you know I try not to make my posts TOO pointless. but I wanna share the extreme highs and lows I experience in my life. lol

LET THE TIMELINE BEGIN!

Saturday - Diti is excited for Christmas, she goes shopping, and gets all her gifts.
Sunday - Diti is still excited for Christmas, she wraps her presents.
Monday - more happiness, womp
Tuesday - Diti bangs up her car buying her Dad's christmas present for her Mom :|
Tuesday evening - Diti gets in huge argument with her mom, has nothing to do with the car
Wednesday - Diti and her mother continue to have beef
Thursday - Everything is fine again, and she has a great day

WHAT THE FUCK?! no really, like, that's a lot to happen in a span of 5 days! anyways, yes I banged up my car, so I'm really stressing money right now. I'm tryna find a second job, so I can get more guap (especially since I'm only taking 3 classes next semester) since I have to pay to fix my car, and I still wanna have my super sweet 21st! AND the new blackberry is coming out in Feb, I DEF GOTTA COP! plus I need to give my mom 700 for my insurance for 2009, I mean, I just need money. Mo money mo problems? No bitch, No money MAS PROBLEMS! anyways, I'm very blessed, so I dont want anyone to get the wrong idea, but just needed to get that out! lol.

Santa was good to me, I wasnt expecting nothing, but I got a GPS (whoop!) and a vanity mirror (since I stay in my moms when I do my makeup), and a starbucks gift card ( you know i'm an addict), and really, I appreciate and will certainly use all 3 gifts, so I was happy. Hope Santa was good to you guys too.

xoxo
- D

also! when the funds get up some, I really am looking for someone to design my blog for me, so if you know anybody, let me know!

OH AND, does anybody know if I can get new comment alerts via email or something? cuz I swear I miss a lot of them!

INSPIRATION

Where do you get yours from? I'm talking to my little brother (what up Kendall Elijah!), and we're talking about hidden talents and what not, and I told him I could paint,and he said I should. Which led me to say,

"I don't know, I'm never inspired to do anything anymore"

and then, thoughts started firing off in my head. Why am I not inspired? What used to inspire me? etc etc.

I love painting, so why cant I paint? Why is there a blank there? hmm, so again I ask, What inspires you to do what you do?

eyeliner&cigarettes

sike nah, but I'm listening to Lady GaGa, and I can never think of titles for real, so there you have it..

ANYWAYS, I think my mind works in an odd ass way, because something over on one side of my mind will bring me to a thought some place way off. -shrugs- I don't ask questions, I just go with it, makes my life much easier.

So this week was/is finals week, aka the week from hell, an it just made me realize how much of a procrastinator I truly am. YES YOU HEARD IT RIGHT, I AM NOT PERFECT, but I never really claimed to be... ANYWAYS! I feel like I've been wanting to "change" this for years now, but I never really have, things have always worked out, life moved on.

which then brought me to another thought, why is it that people only want to change when something isn't working for them anymore. I mean besides the obvious reason. It could be the most unhealthy, horrible habit, and I know so many people who wouldn't change it, if it was constantly working for them.

I know myself personally, I KNOW procrastinating is really only harming me, its harming the quality of my work, my work ethic, my stress levels, but I've always been alright, regardless of my procrastinating, so even though as much as I SAY I want to change, when will I really change?

sure wont be today, I'm off to cram for an econ final, later loves*

xoxo- D

SO..

after an interesting and stressful morning, a lot of thoughts entered my mind. First off, my morning was really shitty, so this post of course is gonna be rather negative, not even negative, confused, so go ahead and click the x, cuz I'm not trying to ruin anyone's day. Moving along... I truly do not understand people. AT ALL. Because how is it that ONE INCIDENT, makes me selfish, undependable, etc? Just yesterday I was thoughtful, and NOW because of human emotion at the present time I'm selfish? This is about my mother, before you mongoosey (that means nosey for all the people who aren't Nija) ass people think I'm talking about a dude, no, a dude wouldn't get that much thought out of me after that type of situation. AND THEN, I started having thoughts about relationships, parent-child, siblings, lovers, spouses, whatever! Why do people feel like they HAVE to deal with others? This isn't speaking on my behalf, but there's so many people who I know stay in certain relationships, even though they're consistently and constantly getting hurt, JUST because they're scared of being alone. I don't know how a fight with my mom made me think of all this, but it really saddens me how many people I know are scared to stand on their own. Anyways, guess I'm just trying to say empower yourself, be the best YOU, before you can be a part of HEALTHY anything.

xoxo - D


oh yeah and be on the lookout for my post on THE PAXTONS on DTY (www.dont-trip-yet.blogspot.com) coming very soon!